You Don't See Me At All

Bad things don't come in threes they come in bucket loads dumped over your head.

Took my tonguebars out for a day, the second hole closed up..completely.

I spent like an hour trying to break back through..but I just made myself feel sick and my tongue hurt like fuck.

Oh well..it'll be another thirty quid to get it repierced..whenever the fuck I can get that kind of money

Still waiting on my DLA...they have to reply in 8 weeks but it's only been 4 *Sigh*

An even then I might need to apply again, because I am intitled to it, they just deny a lot of peoples first claims =/

I won't be suprised if I have to claim again..but I don't think I will.

Doesn't help the fact that I have no money whatsoever at the moment though.

Psychiatrist at 2:30pm...gunna go cry and panic attack at him about what I can only describe as my latest side effect.

Something that makes me want to burn and cut into my own face.

The only thing stopping me being my mum promising if the Dr won't get it fixed on the nhs she'll take me to get it fixed.

I can't believe that yesterday I got in such a state I actualy said I was going to kill myself rather than live with it -_-'''

I meant it, I'm not living with this, I can't, it's all I can think about...but I'm not exactly in the habbit of broadcasting things like that x_x

I ran out of meds..I blame that.

Speaking of cutting things...Sonni did a runny sloppy shit on the carpet, thank fuck we're getting new carpets..the other day when she was locked inside away from the builders.

I had a cut, well, still have a cut, on the palm of my hand, so after cleaning it up..I became convinsed thier were germs inside it and had to take a razor to open it up and bleed the germs out.

=[ Insanity isn't as fun as you guys would like to think.

I need to go pick up my perscription, remedicate myself and next time not forget about renewing my supplies until I run out.

Haven't smoked weed in over a week...could really go for some

I'm cold..I should get dressed..

Why are you still reading?

Why am I still writing?

Oh..yeh..cuz I don't quite know how to politely say ignore all of this.

I just remembered why I bothered writing this..can someone give me a few more reasons to live..I've got a couple but I could really do with some more.

Oh and they should have a suicidal mood option.

Ps don't ask what the side effect is because I'm not telling anyone..cept Fluffy, cuz I can tell her stuff like this. Nomme already knows.

I Used To Be lovestruck..Now I'm Just Fucked Up